It is with great sadness that I report that my father, Clark Wilton Sikes (aka C.W.) has very unexpected passed away on March 10, 2020. He was 65 years old, in absolutely incredible physical shape, and was mentally sharp as a tack with problem solving abilities beyond anyone I’ve ever witnessed.
As he raised me, he served as my foundation and represented the characteristics that I aspired to uphold. I am his sole survivor and next-of-kin. The point of this page is to pay homage to him. To this effect, I will post articles from his life in reverse chronological order, starting with a very brief background, the news of his passing, and his funeral.
Background context
My dad and his three siblings were raised in a children’s home in southern Georgia (Baxley) and attended a traditional primary and secondary school in the same town. His brother passed when he was young, but he has remained close with his two sisters. Upon graduating high school, my dad moved north to a suburb of Atlanta (Norcross) and became deeply interested in woodworking. At the age of 25, he married my mom, but they divorced when he was 27. Despite being legally divorced, they stayed together and always lived in the same house. For all intents-and-purposes, they were effectively married.
At the age of 30, he became a father (I am my parents’ only child, and since my parents operated as a married couple, I always forgot that they were technically/legally divorced). They put enormous care into raising me as best as they possibly could, and I always felt privileged and well-supported by them. Despite their having tough childhoods and our living in a lower-middle socioeconomic environment, they did an incredible job providing for me, and I was truly fortunate beyond belief to have them as parents.
When he was 30, he also started doing woodworking for high-profile, renowned interior decorators — collaborations that continued for the duration of his life. His woodworking skills were world-class, and his furniture pieces were often featured in dozens of magazines (e.g., Beautiful Homes and Gardens). At the age of 48, he and my mom had an “empty nest,” as I had gone to college out-of-state and never moved back to Georgia. At any given time, we always had 2-3 well-trained dogs, each of which lived 15-18 years, so it still felt like a home, despite my not being there. My dad selflessly dedicated his life to providing for my mom. The care he provided was unparalleled and the utmost display of strength, courage, resilience, tolerance, and dedication I’ve ever witnessed.
At the age of 65, he moved back to Baxley, Georgia, his small hometown in the south. This is where he spent his last 10 months. It was quite beautiful, as he was able to “reconnect” with his sister and brother-in-law who had spent their entire adult lives in South Carolina — they were always close siblings but didn’t have many opportunities to see each other due to the geographic distance. It was great that they were able to spend so much time together again. Further, he was able to see and spend time with people he had known from childhood. During these short 10 months in Baxley, he formed communities, touched many people’s lives, and truly had fun. My partner (Jana) and I were fortunate to visit him, his sister, and his brother-in-law in Baxley for what would be his last Thanksgiving. During this last visit with my dad, we went to the nearby Altamaha river:
My first few attempts were blurry. Here, my dad was being a bit goofy and gave a cheeky smile, which he’d often do when I’d ask to take his picture. Left to right: Jana (my partner), Dad, his sister Kathy, me.
My dad (left) and his sister (right) walked along the bridge as Jana and I went to the bank. We were talking about how they used to ride canoes down the river on multi-day trips, and we excitedly talked about how nice it would be for all of us to do so again.
TIMELINE OF HIS PASSING AND MY HEALING
March 6, 2020 (Fri), I texted my dad as I boarded a 30 hour flight path to Durban, South Africa.
March 8 (Sun), I landed in Durban.
March 10 (Tues), I received alarming news about my dad from my sister. I called him and left him two voicemails. Hours later, at 11:30pm, I received news of his passing from his brother-in-law. Stayed awake until 2am, talking with Jana.
March 11 (Wed): this is when COVID-19 epidemic really started to have a significant global impact. Flights from Europe to USA were banned this day. I spent the day (1) booking the earliest flight to Atlanta; (2) signing and notarizing official documents for my dad’s funeral and cremation. Jana perfectly supported me and helped me through this process. She wanted to accompany me to the funeral, but she’s an Infectious Disease doctor and needed to help with the COVID-19 crisis and work directly with patients.
March 12 (Thurs): I flew 30 hours non-stop (just a 30-min layover in Doha) to Atlanta. During this time, I began to write his eulogy. I had a lot of time to reflect and try to digest.
March 13 (Fri): I landed in Atlanta. One of my best friends from adolescence, John Hutchinson (who knew my dad very well), met me at the airport. We drove my rental car an hour and I stayed the night with John.
March 14 (Sat): I drove 4 hours, solo, to Baxley, GA. Stayed w/ his sisters.
March 15 (Sun): The funeral took place.
March 16 (Mon): Stayed at his sister’s house and started to go through Dad’s belongings.
March 17 (Tues): Went through Dad’s belongings.
March 18 (Wed): Went to probate court to get a signed document. Then, with my dad’s ashes in my passenger seat, I drove 4 hours north to Atlanta, to stay at John’s house. This was a difficult drive that felt incredibly unusual and solemn.
March 18 (Wed) - March 23 (Mon): stayed with John and healed. Packed up all my belongings from childhood home in Norcross.
March 23 (Mon) - March 27 (Fri): stayed with Mark and healed.
March 27 (Fri) - March 31 (Tues): stayed w/ John, sorted all belongings, prepared for road trip back up to Boston — Jana flew to Boston March 22 and is busy with COVID-19 now. Most of the country is on “stay-at-home” orders. I will join Jana in our Boston apartment.
The FUNERAL
His funeral took place in Baxley, Georgia. Two of my best friends from adolescence, John Hutchinson and Mark Toole, Jr., knew my dad very well. They and their respective families drove 4 hours (each direction) to attend the funeral. It was an incredibly difficult and surreal time for me. Having John and Mark by my side greatly helped. I bawled minutes before I read my dad’s eulogy. Here is video recording of the funeral, thanks to Frances.
Pastor [video]
Chris Tanner [transcript] [video]
Mark Toole, Jr. [video]
Joe Kersey [video]
It felt uncomfortable for me to take photos of my dad’s funeral, as it was already difficult enough to be there and to accept the reality. However, I chose to take photos because I wanted to remember as much as I could, I wanted to assist my grieving (and potentially others’) by being able to reflect back on it at a future time, and photography is my way of immersing myself into a new element that I’m trying to understand (a la travel photography). Although it felt extremely unusual to document it, I felt that I would regret it if I didn’t. Here are a few snapshots before the funeral started:
The entryway, as the first visitor is about to open the door.
John and Frances look through photo albums of my dad’s woodworking.
The centerpiece: family photo on the left, small wooden pieces he made for fun, a recent portrait of him in a church in Baxley. The birdcage belongs to his sister. She and my dad would recently enjoy teasing each other, a la their childhood days, whereby the sister would keep the door closed, and my dad would sneakily open the door every few days — a gesture to let the wooden bird be free.
Right side. A picture his sister made long ago, which we’ve always kept in our house and inspired me to paint. Cue sticks that my dad made. Magazines that feature his woodworking pieces.
Left side. Some small wooden pieces he made long ago for fun. These aren’t his typical furniture masterpieces; they are small trinkets he made in a few minutes, but it was among the only items he had in Baxley.
His sister, nephew, and long-term friend. Before everyone else arrived. I did not take photos once everyone was there. I walked around and met everyone.
It was very hard to smile, but I tried. Mark Toole, Jr. on the left (of picture), John Hutchinson on the right (of picture). So glad to have their support.